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To the girl who...

To the girl who never leaves her house,

majestically waiting for Mr Right to fall out of the sky,

as my brother will say dey play,

No, actually, continue playing with your life.

But as a fellow delusional romantic,

I say, keep waiting,

keep believing

keep hoping

There actually are those who meet their man in the house,

so why not you?

It's only crazy until happens

But I do bid thee, cometh thou out once in a while,

The good Lord did create us with community in mind.

So please, come out and commune with others




To the girl who wants it all

But doesn't quite know how to get it all

I am learning to dip my toes into the water one pinky at a time

No, that doesn't make sense.

Let's try that again

I am learning to dip my feet into the water, one toe at a time.

But I do put my pinky in first most times, to test the temperature

Is it too cold?

Is it warm?

Or is it just right?

But waiting for my pinky to be satisfied will only make me hesitate more

So first the toe, then the foot, then a scream!

Because whattttt??!!!

I shiver, and then I get warmed up

It is scary—more like weird—stepping out of your comfort zone.

But it is worth it.



To the girl who said "No" and now regrets it

even though she knows she was right.

Take courage

It is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel,

but it is really is there.

So stay believing

Stay hoping

Abba is faithful


And as a wise Yoruba aunty would say, "E wo ma worry, options wa."


Don't worry; you have options.



To the girl who gave her all to the wrong guy

and ended up broken, hurt, ashamed and changed.

Changed!!

Changed because she doesn't even recognise herself any more


Start where you are


Pick up the large, small and tiny broken pieces

Abba is close to the brokenhearted

He does incredible things with broken pieces


Embrace the old & new you

Evolve

Go again

Try again

Step out again

Hope again

Love again



To the girl who could never hold the male gaze when she walked into the room

Madness!!!


As beautiful and alluring as Eve was,

she was not created just for Adam's gaze.


A helper,

A strength,

A force

A lioness


You don't need everyone gazing at you,

and sometimes, that's actually a good thing.

But you will have the ones who will

Ones, because "options wa''* in the words of a wise Yoruba aunty

Life is full of options.

And you will meet the ones with eyes for you


you have plenty options




To the girl who thinks she lost out on the best thing that ever happened to her

Ugghhhhhh...

The absolute trenches

Because how did that happen

Can we get a rewind

A replay maybe?

A do-over?

I promise to do better

To try harder

To not let it slip away this time

But alas, I stand proud, strong, ready to go again.



To the girl who longs for a relationship

The desire for a relationship can sometimes feel shameful.

Because even though you long to have what is absolutely normal

You can't be hovering around, heads down, looking all lonely & sad

You also can't be out here coming off desperate and thirsty

You have to set your face like a flint

Stand tall

Like the majestic gazelle that you are

I serve a God who satisfies all my needs, and as assuring as that can be,

the market doesn't always reflect the possibility of that reality.

Which can leave a sense of hopelessness and sadness

because please, when?

When exactly?

What time?

Are we doing heeled sandals or boots

Will it actually happen?

How will it happen?

I tire ooo

because I literally can not



To the girl who thinks she has to change her entire self to be accepted

As you are,

nothing added,

nothing removed

you are amazing

Just writing that brought some of my own flaws and bad habits to my mind

I can even hear my anuty saying, "Continue ooo, continue that behaviour, that is where they will meet you."

I don't know who 'they' is

But know that as you are, you are accepted  

you are loved,

you are blessed

you are incredicle

And in case you find yourself acting like a villain

Know that you can still be incredible




To the girl who is ashamed of still being single

to the one who feels like a failure

to the one who is disappointed in herself


Why me?

Why am I still here?

What have I done wrong?


Shame can be the fear of being found out.

Raised to regard honour as bringing value to yourself & to the family unit

When you are not adding value or strength to the family by multiplying & reproducing


Wild!!!


Something has to give,

what is your use?


So to cover the shame, you make it up in other areas

To prove your worth and value

value!!!

But are valued,

more than you know

you are worth everything & more

All by yourself

nothing added, nothing removed

the ladies who asked God for their inheritance when they had no more men in their vicinity.

Got their possession & bounced

So Arise & Shine, girll

that got churchy really fast

but still, build up yourself in your most holy faith & rise like an edifice

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