Letting go of the things I can't control
Trusting you are in control
Not seeing your hand
But...hoping you have gone ahead of me
Trusting you are providing
Believing you are aware
But nothing points to you in this situation
Maybe I am not looking enough
My hope is failing
My faith is fading
Everything points to your absence
I see you in her life
You just gave him that
But my hands feel dry
my hands are dry
I am holding on to what you said
You said I am good
You said you are good
This situation is bad
I wish you were enough
I want you to be enough
But it is hard to be content in this lack
I am in the valley
I keep walking towards the shore
I see you
I know you are here
I get it
But... I am losing my mind
How do I believe in what I Know?
How do I action this fact?
Now you are smiling
Lying on the rock
Watching me
Why do I only ever notice you after all my energy is gone?
You were right there
You are right there
You never left
Lol
Actually, you went ahead of me
Waiting for me to see you
To spot you
*but this is not where is waldo*
Patiently waiting for me
To want you
To seek you
To see you
To desire your presence
Lool you are pettily humble, you know
You weirdly fade into the background
Only noticeable when searched for
Peacefully keeping a lookout
I love you Jireh
Why don't you ever leave?
Why don't you ever get frustrated?
Didn't you get tired of waiting?
Didn't you get pissed off when I walked away?
Lol
Now you are standing up and walking towards me
The roasted fish smells good
lol
How long did you wait?
This might be the best Mackerel ever
I start telling you about my journey
Trying to prove the reasons why
Hoping you get it
Guilt washes over me
Tears start flowing
I drop Nemo and stand to leave again
You hold me back
With the biggest hug
You hand me the living water
I drink with tears in my eyes
You make a shed out of the rocks
A place for me to lay my head in the valley
I lie down with my burdened heart
Holding on to you, Abba
How are you the only one able to satisfy me?
Weeks pass and I am not ready to leave
There you are
Still with me
Keeping me company
I try to fade you out like before
But you are like a beautiful gracious flower
Now that you have caught my eye
And I have experienced your beauty
Ignorance is Hell
We went for a walk today
Striding along
gisting
gossiping
laughing
learning
crying
smiling
sleeping
running
hiding
I attempt to leave you again
But this time I keep finding my fingers interlinked with yours
I long to go everywhere with you
I have fallen in love with you
I have gotten to know you
And I am mesmerised
You have my heart
What do I do now
I want to shout it out
At the top of my lungs
From the mountain top
To the lowest valleys
I have given you my heart
I thought love was like a thief in the night
Taking away a part of me
I was not ready to give
But I kept opening up to you
And...you kept waiting on me
I took my time
You helped
Not rushing me
I want to share you with the world
But also keep you to myself
I fell in love with Jireh
He waited on me
Drowning my fears in perfect love
What kind of love is this?
Lol... it's called agape
I am flabbergasted
He loved me first
From the mountain to valleys
From the valleys to mountains
And the path in between
I am overwhelmed
I love you
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