Uncertainties

I am not enough

I can not do this without you

I do not know what I am doing

Like a child

I do not know my left from my right

The good from the wrong

My yes from my no

Am I to go

Or am I to stay

Sometimes I hear you

As clear as day

But most times

It is just foggy

This time, it is a feeling

But that is not enough

Why not just tell me what to do

Why is it not made plain

Why can I not see it from afar

Why do we only see in part

Why the options

Why the decisions

Why the indecisions

Why the uncertainties

Can you not just be direct

Tell me clearly

What needs to be done

I want to disobey you like Jonah

I want to question you

I want to ignore you

I want to report you

Shouting from the rooftop

"what the hell is this?"

You say You love me

But only give me snippets of the truth

What am I meant to do with that?

Waiting on you is tough

I am making decisions blindfolded

I am now at a crossroad

I can not afford to make the wrong decision

Hmm...

Actually, says who?

What makes this decision detrimental to your life

Why is this a life-changing decision

Err... let me think...

Because I say so

Because I feel so

Yes...

There are bigger issues in the world right now

And I am completely selfish.

But I want to be

I have not yet matured

I am still a child

Cooing and clinging to Abba

Is that so bad?

In this aspect of my life

I am not that knowledgeable

I am lost

I am not quite ready to give up the childish ways

Is that okay?

Because that is the only way

I can completely trust You

Believing You are guiding me

That I can blindingly trust your instructions

Because this really feels like a loss

I am running to you

Hoping you have got this

Hoping you have got me

Trusting you have got this

Trusting you have got me 

Believing you love me

Even though it doesn't feel like it

#staygraced

#begraced